#TemptMeTuesday: After Sex/ To cuddle or not to cuddle?To shower or not to shower?
Snuggling or not snuggling after sex, cleaning up right away or not, and even pillow talk in bed aren't exactly hot topics. But they are issues that every couple(or trio, or more) having sex faces when the sex is done. Whether it be a quickie or a longie, you still have to face the other person afterwards. How that is handled can be a very big deal if one's After Sex personality isn't known ahead of time, or if your personalities are very different. Many times it's a case of simply not knowing the person enough in general that leads to post sex confusion. In budding relationships (before sex) we might discuss STD's, birth control, fetishes, previous partners, and other issues pertaining to sex , but not everyone talks about what happens AFTER sex. I think After Sex can be just as important as the actual act itself. Why? because chemicals are released during sex,
Some people not only enjoy snuggling up to their amour after sex, but crave it. This can be a problem if the other person is more of the 'I need my space' type. Partner #1 might keep a leg draped over their beloved, caress them affectionately, or want to gaze into their honey's eyes. If Partner #2 gets over- stimulated by all the touching or simply feels they can't breathe, you can see how it could be seen as a rejection if Partner # 2 scurries to their side of the bed or actually rises and gets dressed. If After Sex behavior wasn't discussed, it can definitely be seen as a rejection by Partner #1, regardless of what Partner #2's motives are.
Another discrepancy in After Sex personalities is the cleanliness issue. The problem arises when one partner wants nothing more than to jump out of bed and into the shower, or at the very least scrub off with a washcloth or wipes, while the other partner wants to lie blissfully in their combined love juices. Many find texture of sexual fluids an aphrodisiac, while others are offended by it. Can you see how one person could feel affronted when their lover is in a huge rush to wash all traces of their lovemaking away?
Pillow talk is another area where personality differences shine through. Some people want to chit chat, chat chit, and then chit chat some more after sex. While others simply don't. Maybe one person feels energized with sex, while the other is drained. Maybe one person feels more emotionally connected after sex and opens up, while the other doesn't feel the same connection. It could just be a basic difference is communication. Calling, texting, and touching base afterwards also falls into After Sex behavior. One person expecting increased communication can be a real problem if the other person isn't on the same wave length. Raise your hand if you've ever felt confused at a lovers lack of communication After Sex. My hand is raised.
One's After Sex actions can be misinterpreted and leave the other person feeling used, unwanted, and even dirty. The answer? I 'm not totally sure but I think a huge part is getting to really know something BEFORE you take the sexual plunge. As with everything else, communication never hurts. Just something to keep in mind if you're dating and it's leading toward a sexual relationship: why not throw in some information about your typical After Sex behavior before you enter the bedroom? Especially if you have habits that might seem strange to another person. Your partner will have more information which is always a good thing. It could make things a whole lot less uncomfortable.
Communicate, be aware of your partner, and have fun! May